Decisions are among the hardest parts of life. Every time we embark on the decision-making process, we take our fate into our own hands. The word "decision" is stark—it comes from the Latin decidere, meaning to cut off. No wonder tough decisions can put us on a knife's edge. With every choice we make, be it in our personal or professional lives, we are cutting off potential life directions. That's why we must understand what goes into wise decision-making.
A wise decision is one that we will not regret. That said, it's important to understand there is a difference between effective decision-making and the so-called "right decision." We can make wise decisions based on the information we have at the time. But no matter how hard we try, we can't predict the future, which means there is no such thing as the "right decision" that guarantees the outcome we want.
That said, we should still try to understand our decisions as best we can. That way, we will have confidence and peace of mind about the decisions we make, come what may. To understand how not to regret a decision, we must first understand ourselves.
In a perfect world, we should attend to our decision-making process before making challenging decisions. We may listen to friends, family, or experts. We might gather and analyze facts by reading or using the internet. Some of us may even use math. Needless to say, we must understand the importance of logic and critical thinking during challenging situations. However, many of us negate the importance of our emotional brain when making important decisions.
If we want to make better decisions, the secret lies in our instinct for empathy. Empathy is the inner voice that tells us to seek out people who have faced similar decisions. Yes, this helps us to figure out potential outcomes. But more importantly, a wiser part of us also learns how we will feel about the world after the decision. In this sense, empathizing with someone is the very best way to communicate. By putting ourselves in their shoes, we feel what they felt, learning from other people's mistakes to better imagine our own future, achieve the outcomes we want, and protect our well-being.
Empathy and the insight it brings are at the heart of wise decision-making. It provides valuable distance from our choices, a concept Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman refers to as the "outside view." Simultaneously, empathy grounds our decisions in reality, offering context and depth by placing us in the emotional state we'll be in post-decision. Engaging with others allows us to explore the potential world our decisions may shape, using this experience to gain a deeper understanding of our perspective.
This is how we gain wisdom. This wisdom gives us confidence, turning our motivations into winds at our backs. More importantly, it brings us peace of mind, so when reality fails to align with our expectations, we can continue on our course rather than retreating in fear.
While it's impossible to make the "right" decision, we should try to understand the decisions we face. We have responsibilities to ourselves and those around us to make the best decisions we can. Understanding our emotional state is crucial, as it can significantly impact our decisions.
To make wise decisions, we must tap into our empathy. This pushes us to step outside ourselves and try on the experiences of others to better understand our perspective. However, even when things don't go our way, we can't spend our lives worrying. We must accept the truth even when it hurts. Then we can decide wisely.
By Erik Larson, Cloverpop founder, @erikdlarson